Empty Chair Technique

In this technique, two chairs are placed facing each other: one represents the patient or one aspect of the patient’s personality, and the other represents another person or the opposing part of the personality.
He loved her.
She loved him.
More than anything in this world. She felt that he was her man and he was irreplaceable and priceless. Slowly he started pacing out steps to end the relation. She was distraught with anguish. She was so inconsolable and here she is…..
Counselor- What has brought you here, my dear?

Gal (Stammering)- I… I…. I am heartbroken, crestfallen with grief. He, who I thought was the light of my life, left me.

C- I know it is hard to cope up. Did you try to speak with him?

Gal- No. I can’t face him. I’ll feel like burning into cinders.

C– I think you should talk to him. What did he tell as the reason for the break-up?
She thought she was his bonnie may. Until she started getting hints of him being unfaithful. He was seeing another girl who worked in the same office as he was. His phone calling intensity had dropped down. Whenever she messages him, she gets delayed responses. He would take ages to reply messages on Whatsapp despite being shown online. Jealousy had sparked upon her.
It felt it would go smooth until that fateful Facebook status update came. The war was waged and they broke up. The more the lovers become involved in a romantic relationship, the more attached they are and the stronger feeling of sharing fate between them. At times, it becomes difficult for them to detach from each other.
C- How are you feeling right now? (Counselee fidgeting with fingers)

Gal- I am feeling bad. Frustrated at the moment (Looking down, eyes were moist)

C- What is the frustration like… for you?

Gal- Its just.. I can’t explain. It has been pricking my heart for a long. I can’t just come out of him.

C- Can you just tell me where the epicentre of the feeling is?

Gal: I just feel like a weight being carried on my chest, day in and out and it is burrowing in into my heart with agony.

C– Dear, Let me initiate a mechanism where I am going to make you introspect on your past life. I want you to focus on that empty chair and visualize seeing him here. I want you to talk to him. Tell him that you want to throw him out of your life.

Gal- With you out of my life, I feel lost. You just did not know how much I loved you. You took me for granted and took me out of your life. I must tell you that I am throwing you out of my life.

C- Now I want you to take his place and then have a conversation with the girl. The responses that you actually got from him.

Gal-(shifting to the opposite chair and composing her into a manly demeanour) 
I must say that you have been nagging me all along. You have been interfering too much in my life. Expecting me to call and message you all day without having my personal space. I need some air in my life. I cannot be with you, a person so intrusive into another person’s life.

C- This is an opportunity. (pause) You can vent all of your anger on him

Gal- (With a glitter in the eye)   With you out of my life, I feel lost. You just did not know how much I loved you. You took me for granted and took me out of your life. I must tell you that…..(pause) I AM THROWING YOU OUT OF MY LIFE.

C- How are you feeling?

Gal- I am feeling better.

C- Can you explain the feeling of ‘being better’?

Gal- I feel like I have heaved off some burden off my chest. I think I will be at peace now.  

Ajaya- Book Review

Everything is based on perspective. I might see the good in him, while you might see the bad in him. 

In fact, the whole world saw him in that angle. 
Ajaya- The Roll of the dice breathes fresh air into the great Indian epic, Mahabharata. The author, Anand Neelakantan has created a wisp of new aura around the first born Kaurava prince, Suyodhana who is renowed to the whole world by his evil name, Duryodhana.  
With every passing line and every page turned, Anand creates a halo of goodness around Suyodhana and portrays the ever-loved comely Pandavas as tracherous or evil. 
In the turn of events, the vicious cycle of life takes turn to pit against Kauravas and Pandavas which led to the hostility between the cousins. 
It was indeed the hatred of Shakuni towards Bhisma and the arch nemeses sisters-in-law Gandhari and Kunti made the plot of Mahabharata more sinistrous.
The fresh perspective is enticing and Anand had made a wonderful effort to make Ajaya a cheerful read. 
Kudos to Anand and his upcoming endeavours. 

The Evolution of Life (Mobile Phones, Ahem! & …..)

Our great grandparents would have never thought that at the push of a protuberance on the wall, a storage area would be filled with water. And the very thought of spinning a round (sometimes other shapes too) something, the water would come out of a hollow something-else would have been amusing. The flow being controlled at will and put to stop when wanted would have made them stand in bewilderment. 

Life is being made easy day by day. The small plastic-metal combination that are held in our hands was once upon a time giant massive blocks that could be used only for calls and texting. Dropping it from a height would create a hole on the ground, the height of the fall causing an isomorphic depth. The massiveness reduced with time and the packaging became more and more complex. Calls gave way to video calls, SMS became via the web. Integrating into them, were cameras, music players and video players making a person carrying 3 different gadgets for serving these purposes look like a Stone Age time traveller. 

As complexity gave its best to us, the directions to any place, understanding our voice, reading our biometrics etc became the need of the hour and found its place on the phone. 

We are being that dependent on technology where meeting friends is a time where we are 50% involved with them and remaining with our phone. Texts, Whatsapp, Facebook, and Twitter are indispensable. Like toilet paper (sorry for the sophistication, mug, bucket and water), iPad is the most essential tool to aid potty. 

We are slaves to technology. Loving and living the slavery shall be cursed and put on blamed one day.  

The future: A phone that would tap into the minds and be a companion. Who would want a wife or a girlfriend when there is a pal who has no mood swings irrespective of which part of the month it is?
But beware, it shall tap in so much that we shall be nothing more than zombies approaching an apocalypse.  

As I was thinking of this, another crept in to push this to the back of the mind. More room to proliferate.

The thought of how we came about the evolution of vehicles.

Remember we used to roll down the windows to come in contact with fresh air. Remember the struggle to turn the steering when the car was stay put. Remember how we prayed when we had to push a sudden brake. 

I am sure it is always there as a fresh memory in the minds of our parents who now drive in the lap of luxury. Not meaning that everyone drives a Merc or Beemer. Even a normal Maruti Swift now has all the necessary gadgetry as a part of its standard equipment. A push and the window goes down. 2 fingers is all what is needed to turn the steering. ABS, hopefully would take care of the braking. 

The yesteryear’s driving had a wisp of fun involved- a feeling that you drive the car by yourself. Fidgeting with the bunch of keys to find the right one, to open the car, when rolling down the windows was quite an exercise, driving with all your might on the steering, gear, accelerator, clutch and brake and then reversing the same initial exercise to close and get out of the car. 

The life has changed when machines have taken over. Key in your pocket. The smart switch on the door knob senses it and you open the door and enter. Inside the car, is a myriad of buttons and screens making you confounded. Push of a button and the vehicle starts. Key still in the pocket. The rolling down of windows gave way to power windows which then came with an auto touch up/down feature. Drive the route, the GPS in the centre console will alert if any wrong route is taken. The AC adjusts to our wish of temperature. The seats are auto reclining, massaging and stores who likes what angle of recline in its memory. The car gives its share of entertainment, movies, music and radio and sets the theme with a mood lighting. Get down the car and your ride has its own way of saying goodbye with its follow me home headlamps.

Drat, you forgot to roll up the windows. The car can take care of her, it automatically rolls it up and hey presto, and the car is locked and safe.

The future is going to go somewhere beyond imagination. 

But aren’t we being shackled to this dominion of technology? Getting lazy in the course of action. 

As I put you to thought, let me sign off.

Milady- The Mind’s Malady

I couldn’t help it to not
But to think about those sweet memories
That lay afresh in the mind
Kindling the pyre of the forsaken destiny
Watching with awe as you stepped in front
The way the braided plaits swayed
As you took those gorgeous footsteps
In a world appeasing demeanour
As the name of the damsel was called
She approached the stage for a moment
A moment that shook my world
And swept me across my feet
Like the circuitry wired to synchronize an output
My heart had infused the thoughts of you in me
The output was perfect with the cupid bow
Ready to strike out a chord in harmony
 Seeing you in the bus every evening,
Letting myself to stay rooted
In close vicinity to see the swaying of the hair
When the breeze kisses it in all its glory
The eyes that behold the charm
Casting a spell so enchanting
Wooing off anyone, god or mortal
Wonderstruck with thy beauty,
Being a mortal, insanely human,
Became I, a slave to the most divine proposition
Of the 3 worlds
You, milady, the lady of the dreams
Living in someone else’s heart!

The Roadside Melodrama

Engaged in a race that often leaves your life dangling by the edge of a thread is what the roads of Chennai have to offer. 

The roads winds and unwinds into a peculiar myriad of tarred blackness, so intangibly intertwined into the facets of hope and despair in all its plight. The routine of driving by the roads in moments of incessant crowding is sure to have you crave for the orgasmic pleasure of adrenaline rushing.

Motorists emerging out of nowhere, from pocket roads, from the blind spot of your ORVM or from God knows where, with just one motto in their mind, body and soul- show the utmost despise to make your day pathetically remorseful for having had the thought of taking your car out of the garage. 

Well, Chennai roads have a lot of lessons to offer. The patience that is upheld when the bikers ram into the teeny weeny gaps between the cars, the self control while ramming the brakes while someone pops into the road from somewhere and the nonchalant face while autowallahs jeer on the face.

Priceless indeed! 

The raging mobbing of the traffic comes to a halt at the red signal where hawkers and beggars throng onto the windshield of the car to get their business done. 

Beggars with sunken paleness and grief stricken eyes knock on the window glass for some change. As you spare a thought to spare some change, you would see contempt on their faces as the expectation from you rises as you graduate from a bike to a car to a bigger car. If the size of the coin is too small, the curses muttered under the breath would bestow upon you and your 9 generations, sinister afterlives in hell. 

Hawkers and peddlers of wares set in their sales pitch. An acceptance means you are poorer by 50 rupees and you now own a thing that is only priced at 20rs even at the biggie store. A denial from your side is surely to set you back atleast by a grand- the hawker’s frustration is often blurted out as scratching with something on the metallic surface of the vehicle’s body.   

Surviving all these would tire you more than your day at office! 


And a month later!

What to say? Where to start?

I have been quite out of touch since my fingers were smothering the touch of the keyboard for other purposes. (FYI, no puns intended!)

It has been busy for most of us. Marriages, jobs, travel etc etc has been on the cards. 

As we crossed the gates of the college, we were pretty happy on the thought that we are now going to a world of independence, a world that was not going to hold us back because we did not have gate passes.

Well, we were given our ticket to independence, with a little or no premonition that we had just entered the world of voluntary slavery. 

Just look back at what we had and what we did. 
Life by the lakes was a breeze, that sometimes had a frost bite, but easily manageable. 

Assignment submissions could have been at will. You could just copy some crap off the internet and submit it. What could happen at the maximum? The plus sign in the letter grade could be taken off or maybe take the vertical bar off it to make it a minus. Barely mattered. Plus, you had a week to submit the paper. 

The boss at office would come and ask you to do that same amount of work and submit it before you leave that same day. 

It is usually one or two assignments per subject. The office usually has the next work ready in line to start off with, as you just finish off with the one. One after the other, you would be doing whatever assigned to you, just as the genie who was uncorked.

You were happily on proxy in class. Clock that bloody, boring and tiringly long 8 and a half hours in office or else the lost hours would reflect as lost hundreds on your salary. No fool’s play. No goofing around. Business is business, pal.

We thought that money was going to come in big numbers. No more asking parents for money. Not answerable to anyone.

We are paying through our noses.

The internet in campus. High speed and unlimited. Now as we want to download that awesome IMDB 8.0 rated movie, we just go to the internet account page, check the balance, plot a mental graph that if the movie download would make you off the wire during the last 2 days of the month. 

ACs were on round the clock in the hostel rooms. Just try that at your new place. Better do it after giving the bank, instructions to credit the whole month’s salary in the EB’s account. 

Life, huh? 

Did you just realize that in a couple of years, almost all of us would heard the chime of the wedding bells? Did you just realize that getting married means hell lot of responsibility? Check it out with the friend who just got married last week. Future reference can be taken from the guy who is getting engaged this week. 

We are getting responsible. For our own actions.


Brace yourself, LIFE is approaching in full force.

Attye peace!

The Farewell Trance

I was overwhelmed. I was on the verge of being in tears. 

And the same is applicable to the remaining 120 people too. 

And you, Pallavas, you did a great job. Joining up as a team, putting in your hard work and dedication to bid adieu. Amidst the work pressure put forth by the professors, you rescheduled your days and nights to give us the space. 

As we exit, we are sure, the 2 year course that started off with us as exemplars, will be taken to greater heights. 

The retreat at Ideal Beach Resort was worth its weight in gold. The ambience, the programs planned, the menus set, everything deserves an applause. 

A dinner would have sufficed, and maybe top it up with some impromptu act that any one could have pulled up- that would have made a decent farewell. But you stepped it up by a giant leap, burning midnight oil and sipping cups of coffees to devise plans, to give us a farewell, befitting the most luckiest seniors. 

I have to thank you all, on behalf of the batch for the pomp and splendor you infused in the act of camaraderie. 

Ambi and Sudarshan, you guys were awesome as the hosts on stage. 

The girl who sang the Rock On song, 
I shall call you thee
For I do know thy name is Ridhima
You swept a wave of bliss across the hearts

Kaushal and Siddharth, you two, too put up a great show!!! Timings, man!! Respect!!

The Video team, the coordination team, the ‘this’ team, the ‘that’ team, the whole team… 
The Farewell video left us spellbound. The hard work behind this deserves mention. 
Who else, other than you could think of giving us a souvenir of the most cherished picture of the 2 years, framed and wrapped to cherish the memories!!!
I have no words to say,
You have won a place in the heart to stay
Loved your efforts
Love you all

Enough of being nice, 
I shall cast off the garb 
And pull a leg of the Mamalla
Or maybe two!!

We taught them to be awesome. They taught us what awesomeness was.

Anyways, Mamallas, here you go!

The winners of the Wall of Fame- the acts that you did on stage were awesome. But what took you there were the acts in the 2 years. Those were more awesome, I should say. 

Mr Vikas ‘Pole Dance’ Sharma, you taught the world what seduction meant. Did you know that you gave the strippers a run for their money??

Srini Mama, you were awesome as always. Do you have pins and needles under your toe? Drenched that little Ambi and danced when not needed. 

The roommates actually forgot the whole thing called pole dance. I know you people are rigid as the pole should be, and hence swayed the sh!t out of it (him)

Varun and Nambi, you did set the floor on fire!! 

The food needs mention. It was amazing. I remember seeing people seen as excited as a 5 year old in a candy shop, on seeing the well laid-out sumptuous spread.   

We had fun. Loads and loads. 

Dear Pallavas, 
You etched memories of a lifetime. 
You carved out  a slice of our world as we part
You did everything you could 
And gratitude with which we say,
We love you all!!!

The End is the New Beginning

The journey has been a roller coaster ride. 2 years of management education has made us wiser, I believe, if not by the volumes of education tried to shove up the brain, but by the life learnings.

It was not easy, coping with the pressure, burning midnight oil and what not. But we did it.

The assignment deadlines, persistent nagging by friends to send them your assignments, hunting down Scribd and Slideshare to get a teeny-weeny bit of your submission material, checking all the plagiarism checker sites known to mankind and finding that most of your hard work is the exact duplication of the public domain and screwing the remaining part of the night redoing the work using the right-click-synonym magic on MS Word were attempts to err the freshly baked engineer’s life in the first term of MBA.

The classes were happening over and over, day and night. From the wee hours till past midnight. Then starts assignments of various sorts. The first term had marketing cases over cases with emerging markets flying over the head. Financial accounting was never ever willing to tally the balance sheet of life. 

Well, rephrasing became child’s play when we were one term old. Then came the tensions of choosing electives and empirical studies. Not to add to the woes, finance became the back crunching exercise as we graduated from Accounting to Financial Management. The guys who were keen on pursuing CFA went to bow down to the world of operations management. 

The classes were tedious beyond the core as the count of the number of subjects crossed the hand and reached the toes. The teachers were persistent on our dedication in their subject and were overloading us with work as if that was the only subject to study. As the sections were shuffled each term, we actually had chances to mingle with more and more people. 

Before we knew what happened, 2 terms were over. Then came internship interviews and the 3rd term. We were a bunch of scapegoats in the brand mayhem caught up to strive for life in the raging sea. We were running behind internships while the classification that we had was to ensure us a paid internship that would leave behind savings post the expenses and booze charges. We dint. And an internship was an internship and we needed to have it. Time flew and we flew to different parts of the country and some went beyond the boundaries. It was a hectic task of getting up in the morning and going to office and submitting reports and actually working. 

Once we were back, life went on to reverse gear. The number of classes per day had fallen drastically and we actually had free time. And then we began to learn to be lazy. It was just less than a year ago, we had just unlearned the thing.

The second year actually was a year that split friends. You hardly had a chance to sit in class with your friends in class. When you attended service marketing, he would be sitting and gazing at the FRM teacher. The intrigued attention that was paid in class for some subjects were pretty much compensated for the lax in the others.  

The terms passed by, and we are here. Almost ready to be shown to the gate and to leave.

We hated the place. We hated the teachers, we hated the buildings, we hated the classrooms that made us claustrophobic, but we never hated the people whom we called friends. 

But now as we turn back into the way that leads us down the memory lane, we would know that, it was just the turn of events that made us hate them. It is just a matter of time that we would understand that how they meant to us. 

On a retrospective note as we leave, we are leaving a life that shall never return. We are leaving a life that we actually lived. We loved, we fought, we waged wars, we had indifferences and we patched it all up in a jiffy.

We loved the drooping eyelids and the happiness that brimmed in the mind as we ate a hearty meal (pun intended!) and went to the hostel for the great afternoon siesta. The crashing on the bed and letting go of all emotions are going to be a distant memory reserved for a Sunday.

We all loved copying our assignments. We loved to ask teachers for extensions. We loved the butterfly flutter in the tummy as we were midway through our assignment when the clock showed 1130pm (submission at midnight). We loved the panicking as we would go room to room, get hold of a few assignments, copy paste it and submit for the sake of it. Post college, you won’t be even able to do that even if you own the company.

I intentionally forgot about the most interesting part of the life here- proxies. The moment you queued up in the ‘other’ entrance to class, asked the people who sat in class to form a barricade while you could punch in, so that the teacher would not catch a glimpse of you and run away to avoid the teacher’s eye- shall be a memory often thought with a grin and a tear at the edge of the eye. 

The midnight munchings and the walk with the chilly wind blowing to send chills up the spines would be missed. The coffees at past one at Bistro and the bland sandwiches from CCD after shouting our larynx out to wake the guy shall be missed. All has been a part and parcel of our life.

We loved to huddle up in someone’s room and make plans. 

The bike rides to Mayajaal, the shared autos to Mahabalipuram, the beaches, the sun, the lovely chaats and ghee roasts of A2B, the restaurants of the temple town, the life- you shall be remembered. 

The crushes, the love, the break ups, the pals and gals- you too shall be missed.

As we gear up for life, we will get to know that the past was heaven. 

Everyone shall be missed! This life shall be missed!

Attye Peace!




Let the Dreams Assume Wings!

I have a dream.

We all have dreams.

Are we chasing them?

Yes, we are.

Look from within, conduct a retrospective study, knock on the guts, ask your inners and from deep inside you will listen to an entity called your conscience.

It will, with all due respect, tell you that you aren’t, knocking over your nuts.

You wanted to be a sky diving instructor, yet you became a glassware salesman just because of the bizarre and freak accident that was covered on TV.

You wanted to drive cross country on that Harley cruiser with your friend, but didn’t, because your neighbour fell off a bike and lost his front teeth. He fixed it all right.

When Martin Luther King Jr. had this thing called a dream, he meant it. He wanted the Blacks to be treated in par with the Whites. When he dreamt it, he meant it.

When we dream of something, do we actually mean it?

We aspire to be something.

We can if we want.

There are some hapless souls in this world who want to be treated as humans. But we fail to do so. If I may, it is about the differently abled souls. The people who are born with genetic disorders, who fail to cope up with the challenges of life, who are called the mistakes of God, also have the right to dream.

What do we do to them?

Do we allow their dreams to take wings and escape beyond? We treat them as diseased, untouchable and uncouth. Was it their mistake to be born, to be born in this manner? They are left to fate. Left to bleed out while we try to pursue our long lost and forgotten dreams, many a times in vain.

How do we talk to a person who doesn’t know much English? We break and pause and hum and put all the sounds between the words so that they have enough time to register the words, transmit them to their brains, translate to their mother tongue, understand, think of the reply in their mother tongue, translate and reply back in English.

Have we ever thought of helping people out by showing care, compassion and courtesy? Have we? No one cares a damn about the normal humans. Everyone is carefully secluded in their comfort zone. If they don’t retaliate to the oncoming fire, they are the cusp of getting run over or hit or whatever damage that may befall.

By layman’s point of view, aren’t we all differently abled? We all possess different talents and an uncanny ability to mask our disabilities. Yet we discriminate the real souls who fail to dream big. 

Dream big and help other to realize something.

It matters, after all.